Discovering Lasting Happiness: Embracing the Wisdom of the 4 C’s
We all are living in a digital world where we are consuming information in real-time in the world. TikTok, Instagram and Facebook are becoming the main source of entertainment as it allows people to sneak peek into other people’s life. However, what we forget is that people post their best life or happy moments on social media channels. So reality can be very different!!
The question everyone is struggling with is — “How to be happy?” Is it money, fame, career, travel, food, or beauty that can make you happy? In reality, the whole world is sad and suffering for one and another reason. Sheikh Farid shared in the banni that everyone is suffering from it.
The solution to this suffering is not outside but lies within us. We generally tend to find quick solutions like exotic holidays, alcohol/drugs, or attending some workshops. These measures help you to forget things temporarily but the reality quickly will suck you back in.
The real solution is to shift mindsets from “victim mentality” to “growth mindsets”. I would like to share what I recently learned myself. In Sikhism, the banni teaches that we should avoid 4 C’s in life (Complain, Compare, Compete, and Criticize) to find inner peace.
Let's discuss them in detail:
Never Complain
We tend to complain about everything in life as it is the easiest thing and quite self-satisfying. By complaining, you point fingers at everyone and don’t need to change anything. By complaining, we would like to live a victim life and will never feel satisfied. Instead of complaining, one should focus energy on action.
I wept because I had no shoes, until I saw a man who had no feet. ~ Sa’di
The banni tells us that we are blessed with so many things but even for one small thing we just start complaining. It is like a kid who has 10 toys but still suffering as he/she wants 11th one. Imagine that you don’t get 11th one and also all the other toys are gone. These lines from Sukhmani Sahib always help me to remember that we are so blessed.
Never Compare
As mentioned, we are living in this digital world where algorithm plays with your mindsets and force you to live in comparison mindsets. You continue to compare yourself with everyone in the world, especially with people who are better than you. This will lead to envy and greed so you will be unhappy with yourself.
We would like to be judged by other people, who would like them to be judged by us. ~ Anonymous
Sheikh Farid ji again mentioned that you should not look at others as it will make you feel miserable. The content person looks at his own blessing and lives a life of gratitude. Have “faith” in “faith”.
Never Compete
Is competition bad things? Competition helps to bring the best out of every human being. So I don’t agree that we should not compete. We should compete with ourselves every day but should not compete with others. Competition is not good if you are doing it to just beat others. One should aim to improve oneself.
“I am a thrower and we throwers don’t have a finish line. So, I’ll keep going. Motivation has never been a problem for me. There is always room for improvement. My throwing can definitely get better.” Neeraj Chopra (Olympian | World Champian)
Competition makes you arrogant and self-improvement makes you humble and learners. Competition will make you sad and self-improvement will keep you creative, curious, and happy. You will start learning from others and become a funnel that will take good things from others and leave all the wastewater. You will see the whole world as your family.
Never Criticize
As humans, we always love to criticize others and want to find faults in others. Ironically, in this digital world, we are now criticizing even those whom we don’t know or have nothing to do with. Criticism is an important pillar of human society but just criticizing everyone for the sake of it is not good. We love criticism as long as we are criticizing others.
I set out to find the flawed men but found none. I searched within and found there was no man more flawed than me. ~ Kabir
The banni tell us that most of the critic lives dual life. They accumulate lots of filth inside and keep suffering.
It does not matter if you are a student, an employee, an entrepreneur, or retired, we are constantly in a fight with the outside world. Instead of fighting external things, you need to channel that energy to work on yourself. I am at the start of this journey and looking for these answers. Someone told me that there are two kinds of people who can be content — a lunatic or a saint. Let’s remind ourselves of these 4 C’s and live a happy life.
